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Let’s not beat around the bush here…
OR SHALL WE?!
Why the fuck is she cuddling with Tampax at what appears to be a pool that is also the ocean?
I want a tampon commercial where the women are fighting zombies or some shit.
And they’re all beat up and bloody and shoving tampons into bullet wounds to stop the bleeding.
And I want one of the ladies to full-on decapitate a zombie with a machete or maybe a scythe.
And then I want her to look directly into the camera with blood running from an open wound on her forehead and say,
“For the fighting spirit.”
^ That commercial would win all of the Oscars.
That commercial would make more sense that all this faffing about through the fields of daisies and cuddling your fucking tampons bullshit…
What are you talking about?
I sit by the pool/ocean cuddle my tampons all the fucking time.
Who wants to start a tampon company with me just so we can make that commercial?
What would it be called, Tampocalypse? I’d be game if it were called Tampocalypse.
reblogging for the priceless notes
The Tampocalypse
FOR THE FIGHTING SPIRIT.
Well periods aren’t all ‘Let me parade around in my motherfucking white bikini at the beach and shake my ass around in front of the hot boys while snuggling my tampon box”
IT’S LITERALLY A BLOOD BATH!!
IT’S A WAR!
IF YOU GET IN MY WAY, FUCKER I WILL KNOCK YOU THE FUCK OUT!
Tampocalypse.
I love the internet.
I would buy the shit outta that.
(Source: adventuresofbetahugh, via mesiouxsta)
I made this joke before and nobody laughed. :cIt’s only a matter of time.
BUT I WOULD LEGITIMATELY WATCH THOSE.
i was talking about this during previews, and i would just love to see Yahtzee ,and Snakes and Ladders
(via courtopuertorican)
I bet Spiderman left New York City for a day trip and when he came back, he saw the catastrophic aftermath of The Avengers and he was like
“I WAS GONE FOR ONE DAY. ONE DAY.”
(via gredandforge-weasley)
(Source: ifonlyyouwerefood, via courtopuertorican)
(Source: gimmedatcreaturee, via unlegitt)
Jesus drove a Honda but didn’t talk about it, “For I did not speak of my own accord” -John 12:49
(Source: canv.as, via cas-i-said-legs)
My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh my god
- I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
- When chemists die, they barium.
- Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
- I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
- They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
- We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
- Broken pencils are pointless.
- I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
- All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
- Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
- A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
- The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
- Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
